A Search in Autumn—Claire Hellar

"Love without hesitation has swept my floorboards for seasons."

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by Claire Hellar

Every morning I walk through folds of fields 
searching.

Slants of sun 
sink through triangled bones of leaves: 
old cold refuted. 

Sparrows flutter warm in given nests,
ungriefed, 
caught,
sustained by common grace.

Faith is the tenderness of banked coals in a grate, 
Braeburn apples on a windowsill, 
winding crisp with possibility.
The steadiness of conversations embered over decades; 
a fire that has never left off crackling - 
on this my soul has warmed her hands. 

Divine ardor:
too strong and sweet 
for the many years I’ve walked on earth. 

Love without hesitation has swept my floorboards for seasons.
Deep and longing in and out of time the soul reaches out – 
and He, grasps entire. 
Hold – and tender. 
Incandescent. 

---

Claire Hellar Adderholt is a missionary kid who grew up in Papua New Guinea and, after living in California and Colorado, now lives with her husband in Birmingham, Alabama. She is a UCLA grad and loves Tolstoy, Taylor Swift, mountain hikes, peonies and whiskey. Her poems can be found in Calla Press, Wilderness House Literary Review, and Melusine. Find her on Instagram @claire_de_luned and on Substack at Lanterns in the Dark, where she publishes a new poem every week. 

Photo by Marcus Wallis on Unsplash