Inside the Losing, You Hid Another Life—Andy Patton
"You made your rumor run under the wind, wild as wolves..
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Andy Patton is the creator of the Darkling Psalter, a collection of creative renditions of the Psalms paired with new poems. He writes about biblical theology at Pattern Bible and co-edits a newsletter of cultural resources at Three Things. He holds an M.A. in theology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He works for the Rabbit Room and is a former staff member at L'Abri Fellowship in England.
You can read the original post of this poem with the accompanying Psalm on the Darkling Psalter.
Inside the Losing, You Hid Another Life
For Miranda.
I.
She gives you thanks, O God,
That you made your rumor run
Under the wind, wild as wolves,
Catching, coy, quicksilver—
Purple in fingers picking blackberries,
Gasping in the azaleas,
Cascading in Summer hollyhocks
Grown head high and higher. It is there
In the throaty chuckle of the ravens brooding
Like a gang of a black toads in the oak trees.
It is there at the spot where they found the fox den
When the kits showed themselves before going to ground.
Suddenly, the ravens burst from their cover and threw shadows
Down on her that almost had substance.
So your love passes in bright, slow time.
So you show yourself to her and dance away.
II.
She gives you thanks, O God,
That all that year she was a skein of something
Hoping to be raveled. You heard her prayers
But didn’t answer as she begged for blessings
And answers that would have ruined her.
So she pressed her hand to the wall and rattled
In the space between two trains,
Waiting for it to pass.
Meanwhile, every Saturday the choir came
To practice Sunday’s songs
And she listened from another room.
Every night, the grace gathered
Around the table at dinner,
In the hallowed halls of the real world
Ready to be passed again from hand to hand
In bits of bread and rolled grandly into cups of wine.
She walked the lane and was harrowed.
The trees were all louder
Than she could remember them being.
She was arrested mid-stride
By the way the light fell on things.
She joined the lyric of the lives of others
And fell into conversation to the clatter of tea things
With people who were kind to her.
After dark, the stars crowded the sky
As if it was the world’s last night.
Her breath steamed up at them
And slowly the fear crept upon her and it was good.
So you sometimes curve strange mercies down on us.
So inside the losing, you hid another life.
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“Begging for answers that would have ruined her” Thank you Andy.
I have refreshed my love of poetry, and delighted in finding you.