folded up their grotesque armaments" What an image! And the way it foreshadows the death in the third stanza is lovely.
I can feel the scraped toes. I remember doing the same at my uncle's pool in Phoenix as a child. The only time I've ever done that in a pool. What a curious memory.
"to stay un-drowned hugging the edge" That was also me as a child. I was never easy in the water.
The imagery in the final stanza is beautiful. I like how the capital letters and punctuation fall away and how it matches the unearthly mystical vision of the heavenly city.
And the music: "and score it and raise it / and sing it into the echo".
And then coming back to the swimming pool: "just so permitting this terrible buoyancy" what a perfect conclusion!
"yellow-jackets ...
folded up their grotesque armaments" What an image! And the way it foreshadows the death in the third stanza is lovely.
I can feel the scraped toes. I remember doing the same at my uncle's pool in Phoenix as a child. The only time I've ever done that in a pool. What a curious memory.
"to stay un-drowned hugging the edge" That was also me as a child. I was never easy in the water.
The imagery in the final stanza is beautiful. I like how the capital letters and punctuation fall away and how it matches the unearthly mystical vision of the heavenly city.
And the music: "and score it and raise it / and sing it into the echo".
And then coming back to the swimming pool: "just so permitting this terrible buoyancy" what a perfect conclusion!
Thanks for this generous close-reading 🥹. I tell you what--I can't read that line "score it and raise it..." without tearing up. Like EVERY TIME. I tried to read it on this radio show and almost didn't make it! https://omny.fm/shows/john-kathy/the-ride-home-friday-july-11-2025?t=57m20s
Terrible buoyancy, indeed. I needed hope that could hold deaths today. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful poem!
Oh, the ending -- so hopeful and beautiful and powerful. I loved this!
Wow. Speechless.