Waiting for My Autistic Son to Speak—Heather Cadenhead

“Isn’t every spoken word a lie”

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Heather Cadenhead graduated from Union University with a degree in Creative Writing and Professional Education. Her work has been featured in Mothers Always Write, The Mighty, Relief, Ruminate, Birmingham Arts Journal, and many other publications. Previously, she was a recipient of the New Plains Review Editor's Prize. She publishes a monthly newsletter on day-to-day life as a Christ follower, mother, and caregiver via Substack.

Waiting for My Autistic Son to Speak

by Heather Cadenhead

Sometimes I wonder why it matters –
if he talks or doesn’t talk. Isn’t it true
that we barely listen to what people say?
Isn’t it true that we pay closer attention
to moving hands, darting eyes, uncomfortable
silences? Isn’t every spoken word a lie –
a smoothing-over or an omission?
Of course it’s fine you didn’t call.
Please stay as long as you want.
You’ve outdone yourself with this dinner.
I watch you slip an unfinished plate
into the sink and pour a glass of water.
No, I don’t trust words. I trust the sound
of a throat clearing, the silence after.

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Photo by Christian Gertenbach on Unsplash